The Sweedsian (Finally posted after 3 month since it happened)
Well i've told this story many times and i'm getting tired of retelling this over and over so im typing this up here and you guys can check on it for constant updates of what's been going on with this.
One slow thursday night at work, i was just chilling at work doing nothing and getting paid. This fine chick, half asian, half sweed, a sweedsian!(can it get any better?) in her early 20's dressed nicely, came into Comp and was looking for some earbuds. She approached me and started greeting me rather than letting me to greet her and ask if she needed help. We talked for about 10 mins and then she said I look like a well developed sales rep and she offered to hook me up a job at her company cause she said she remembered how it was for her back when she was in school paying for tuitions and blah blah blah. She asked for my number and asked what time I get off work. I told her 10 and she said she would call me then. So i was like, hmmm calling me at 10 pm that seems rather personal. So i got home pretty excited that i might be getting out of retail stores and work somewhere decent and get to dress up. She wasnt able to call me that night so i was a little disappointed. The next day when i got home from school she called me. She told me that there is a company party that saturday at 8. She told me she could possibly get me a ticket in if i'm serious about it. I was like, fuck yea! She told me she'd call me later tonight with the details and that she had to go so i let her go without knowing what the company was or what its about. That didn't really matter much, I thought she might of been too busy and didnt get a chance to. So that night she called me again and told me the adress for this fancy hotel in Chicago where the party is gonna be, and to dress nice. The thing is, i was out that night with couple of friends and didnt get home till 2 am. The party magically transformed to 8am rather than PM that i assumed. I'm like, ok... but i went anyway to see whats going on.
Saturday morning, big day, got home that morning at 2am went to sleep got up at 5am and got in my black suit and headed out for the train station. I have never been so cold in my life! The fucking train station is in middle of no where, the wind chill numbed my fingers instantly. I'm glad i wore an extra layer under my suit pants, otherwise i would've froze to death waiting for the fucking train. I was at the train station for about 15 mins. Met this crazy old guy, talked to him for awhile and then this fat old woman was pissing me off. Her sons were wearing black shoes, so she said wow u guys are lucky. You're wearing black shoes! i bet you guys are a lot warmer in those than my white colored one. Her sons were like, thats only if we have the sun in the summer shining on them, it's pitch dark out here, it doesnt really matter what color it is! I couldnt stand that woman!! The train finally came and i took it all the way to chicago. On the train, i called up crazy joe 6:00 in the morning, and woke him up. I was pretty bored and i started a convo with him. After a long one hour train ride, i finally reached my destination. The union station.
I got off the train started my confused path to the unknown place. I asked around, no one knew where the W center was. I just ran around for 15 mins and i eventually found my way into ze lobby. I looked kinda confused and lost in the crowd. All i saw there were ppl in their early 20's dressed nicely in black business outfits. This guy was standing at the door introducing himself while ppl started walking in. I shook his hand and a lot of other ppl's. I just started introducing myself figure i looked important. It worked, they thought i was someone important and smiled and asked what i've been doing. I just smile back and move on. It was quite interesting meeting professionals, err at least i thought they were. I called up my chick and she came down the stairs to greet me. I thought i was dreaming, a fantasy. It was so unbelievable, i was going to go cry in a lil corner. The sweedsian showed me around, emphasizing the cars that were outside, telling me that those fancy Lexus roadsters belongs to some of the elite members. She also introduced me to some of the "top dogs" of the operation. They were freaky, they took my hand and held it after they shook it. I was like wtf! They held it and looked like they were gonna stroke my hand. They leaned over towards me and gave me a really friendly smile... too friendly but i couldnt really do much but take the honor of letting them praise me like someone important. So after a little bit of introducing me to the top members, she told me to wait while she check out the seating arrangement in the main room. I waited outside with the rest of the crowd, i started introducing myself again to people around me and found out most of them are from out of state. Appearently there was a boston team, california team and also an ohio team gathered here for the event. I was pretty impressed by the well dressed young "professionals". I asked some of them what exactly the company is about and what they do, strangely everybody kinda answered something like "i dont want to bore you, see for it inside yourself". So i was like ok... thats kinda strange. I scanned around and saw so many hot asian babes in the crowd in nice black outfits. That place was amazing! It almost felt like i was at prom. Fifteen mins later... i entered the main room.
The sweedsian saved me a seat in the front with all the top boys of the company and introduced me to some more people. All of them looked incredibly young. She also introduced me to Mel. Let me tell you about Mel. Mel is a kid who looks a lot like Chris Boreman, in fact he looks younger than me! When the sweedsian introduced him, she introduced him as her mentor. Her mentor? wtf? he's gotta be like no more than 19 or something. This kid shook my hand in that freaky feely way like all the other top dogs that i was introduced to. I was starting to wondering what da fuck it is going on, but i still know nothing about this place what so ever. It didn't matter, i was dressed to kill and surrounded by hot asian chicks. Tis the place to be when you're really supposed to be at work. I was told that i got the VIP pass, there are still tons of people outside who are waiting to get in the room. Mel also brought a lil companion and Matt was his name. Matt was picked up at the woodfield mall a couple of days ago. This kid is in the same boat as me. He was showing off his credit card sized digital camera, and i saw some people running around naked on there. He said it was his crazy shots from New Years eve. We talked for like half an hour, cause we were bored sitting there knowing absolutly nothing of whats going on around us. Another half an hr later the meeting finally started.
The first hour was somewhat pleasent. The sweedsian sat next to me and showed me some interesting stuff. The presentation wasnt too bad at first. But it was mostly common sense. The second hour got me worried. They finally unveiled the founder of the company and the founder was some broke ass Chinese guy who got rich after the 80's real estate boom. He wasnt what worried me, but the idea he gave out did worry me some. He basically said that internet is going to get bigger and if we expand his ISP we will be the next AOL and all of us will become rich ass bastards. I was really confused, how internet is going to boom again, when dot com bussiness is going down the shit hole and everything else online doesnt seem to do as well as 2-3 years ago. But i went along anyway. Then after another hour of his BS he introduced the concept of this company's success. The company name, 2by2, the purpose, to spread their ISP service across IL. The plan is to get 2 customers for yourself, then that 2 customers will train another 2 and so on and on. He said the reason you never heard of them is because they think advertising doesn't really get through to people, you really have to have it personally presented to your friends or family to gain customers. I was like ok, maybe why not, its worth a shot. But i'm lazy and i hate signing up people AOL's at CompUSA and i hated to sign ppl up for MSN at Best Buy, beacuse it was almost impossible! Now how am i going to sign people up to a service that charge almost as much as them and people haven't even heard about them?!? I was getting ready to walk out but the sweedsian already got me locked down. To become a member, a "consultant", i have to pay $420 for the set up fee. I'm like no, thats horrible way to start. The chinese founder said, the first 10 people that goes up there and join will get a $100 discount, so people rushed up there and i was too late. Then my sweedsian said she'd hook me up and get me an oppertunity to sign it up for $320. I was like ok, maybe let me go home and think about it. She's like no man, i have to do this today, otherwise i can't get you that discount. I'm like ok, whatever. She almost literally took the credit card off me when i pulled out my card. That's when i felt the desire to leave as soon as possible. But oh no, damn i missed my train and the next one won't be here for another 2 hrs. I tried to get out of it but didn't know what to say. It's hard when a sweedsian is pressuring you! So i told her, let me go make a call downstairs see if i have enough funds in the card and i'll get back to her. I ran down stairs called up my friend Israel to see what happened with the thing he told me about a while back. He supposedly had the same deal offered to him by a diffrent company and it went bankrupt. He didn't really tell anyone about it, cause he was really pissed off and felt pretty dumb about it. I asked him what his advice was on this and he said he would not recommended. So i figure its best i get out of that as soon as possible. I also called my work and told them that i'm stuck in Chicago and my battery blew out so i gotta figure out a way to get back and it might take awhile. After the calls, i went up stairs and told her the number was no good and that i would get another one for her when i get home. But since i missed my train, i figure i mind as well stay there and see what this is about. The presentation went on and it turned into a cult like BS. The founder showed that the company was rated one of the top 100 fastest growing business in the Entrapaneur magazine. I was somewhat relieved then but i still didn't feel easy abotu letting my money go just like that. As the meeting progresses i grew tired and started tuning all his BS out. I started realizing that my sweedsian was nodding and agreeing to everything the founder said like a cult member. It was kinda freaky how she nods and saying yea, yes to everything the found has to say. It was just getting too wierd. The whole presentation lasted for fucking 8 hours. Throughout the whole thing it was just the same old BS over and over, i couldnt believe the sweedsian took so many pages of notes on that crap. All i took was some shit the founder drew on the projector. It was too much BS. He basically said that, dont believe shit about what your teachers say, cause if they're so smart, why are they stuck in middle/lower class? If you want to be rich and the top 1% of the chart, where the rich people are, you should listen to him. This guy is supposedly a millionair. He spent 8000 dollars on car rims and bought a $90000 dollar bicycle. Yea that's right, $90,000 dollar bike!! It weights 15lbs, made out of carbon fiber and has ceramic bearings. Well he spent half of the presentation talking about his rich life and how school absolutly helped him no where. Total BS and what kinda millionair would spend that long and talk like a standup comedian. Obviously this guy has been doing this a lot and knows how to BS. It was pretty bad the last 4 hours that this thing went on. During one of the breaks, Treavor Fink showed up for the meeting. My sweedsian pointed out him for me. I was like, wait a minute, wasnt i supposed to be "hooked up". Now Treavor, this kid is the worst salesman at CompUSA and he BSes to the customers and got tons of them all pissed at our store. Why is he here too? I was instantly insulted by his presence. I couldnt believe he was here too and i was supposed to be hooked up exclusively!?!?!?! More BS... yea im sure you guys are tired of hearing this long and drawn out event... so ill cut to the end of the speech here.
After the long ass BS from the founder, the sweedsian demanded me to make a list of people that i know that might be interested at the ISP service and made me call on the spot. I figure, ok why not, so i called up Larry! Larry is my boss. He is a crazy guy. He makes a lot of metalic dolls and sell em... or thats what i've been hearing. He got really confused about me trying to sell him an internet service that's charging twice what he is paying. Eventually my sales call turned into a business call. Larry started talking about bring me to work for him and i spent 10 mins on the phone talking about his project. I bet my sweedsian was confused how my sales call turned into a business call and that i gave my social security number over the phone to someone im trying to sell their service to. At the end she was like, well that was good but you really got to emphasize on the favor. Tell them it's a big favor for you and that you'll never forget it. I really hate asking people for favors! So i kinda just blew her off and told her i got to goto work. Finally i was able to get out of that and i got Trevor to give me a ride home. Treavor wasn't too bright, he thought valet parking was free and he kinda just went ahead and parked valet. When he found out it was 18 bux he made me chip in for it since i was getting a ride from him. I gave him 2 bux to shut him up and got a ride home. It took nearly 2 hours to find our way back into Naperville and i called work again 5 hours late of my shift and told my manager i finally got back to Naperville. I got dropped off at my car in the train parking and drove home. Met up with my friend Kyle who happened to show up right when i got home. He wanted to take a look at the dBox, a monstrous machine equipped with a Radeon 9700 Pro All-in-Wonder. A $450 card! Anyway i went to work after picking up some food to eat. With one hour of work left, i spent that hour talking to other CompUSA buddies of mine about the crazy Saturday at this BS place. Shoved my friend Taylor in the cupboard a couple of times. We tried to shove this other kid, Dustin, into the cupboard but he was too tall and he kept farting when i was shoving his leg in, so we had to give in. Then i went into the cupboard to scare some customers and my sweedsian called. I told her that i was stuck in the cupboard, which confused the hell outta her, and laughed my ass off with the guys at work. A long day's work finally ended and i got home for a long ass sleep.
The next day I got a call asking for the credit card number i promised, so i gave her one of my card's number except i altered a couple of numbers here and there. She took the number and tried it out. Called me back, saying she probably messed up what she wrote down last night. So i told her the altered number again but changing the 6 into a 0. She called back again, i repeated the 2nd time alterted number and she said the number didn't work. I'm like, hmm probably the bank is being gay and not letting me access my funds. Shes like, no it said its invalid, im like crap... so i said oh shit then i'll have to double check the number cause this is off my tuition card and i dont have the physical card i just copied it off my parents. So she bought it and gave me an additional 2 days.
Two days later Taylor came over to listen in on this cult. We took my cell phone and dialed Christine up, she picked up and went through the whole, hey how's your day and stuff like, i have great great news for you ETC. She tried not to be obvious on the money, so she kept talking to me about school. I told her my school was cool, my philosophy teacher is totally on crack. He's always talking about using diffrent indian herbs to englighten your mind and philosphize. She was like, oh no, I'm like yea, thats community college for ya. Anyway after going through all the BS she asked me about the money. The money... Oh!! I pretend i was really worried, i said ok, christine. I have a confession. I am sorry about the delay but here is the truth. I was giving you fake credit card numbers 2 days ago because i really wanted to be part of this great great orgnization. She was like, what did you say? I said yea, im really serious about 2by2 but i just dont have the money and i was hoping that i could somehow use a number of someone else's credit card and maybe charge off of them so i can have oppertunity to be rich one day. I really, really want to get out of this shit hole place and be rich and i've been waiting all my life for something like 2by2!! She's like oh. Then she's like, listen leon. DO you trust me? I said yes, shes like, see our relationship, its all about trust! Trust is what this is all about, if you cant let me trust you then we're never gonna get you rich. You want money in your pocket right? THen you gotta work with me and build the trust between us. I will make you rich, if you can trust me and let me put money in your pocket. I'm like ok, thank you christine, thank you for understanding. My paycheck is this thursday and I will definetly have enough by then, do u want me to cash it? I'll give you cash! She sounded happy after i told her i got the moeny and shes like ok Leon, why dont you give me another call this thursday, i want you to promise that you will have everything ready by this weekend. I can only extend this 300 dollar offer for so long.(hmmm first she said it was only for that day, then she said she can extend it for a week and now 2-3 weeks?) So i thanked her and said my goodbye. Taylor couldnt stop laughing in the background and i had to shove my foot in his mouth to keep him quiet.(foot baby!)
Thursday, i was at work with taylor, and I decided we can invite christine and some 2by2 members to Peoria! I called up christine and told her that theres gonna be a huge party this saturday. So i called her up and told her all about the party, and how there will be tons of eligible candidates for 2by2 to recruit. I told her it's at Peoria University but i searched around online and found out that theres no such university, but i BSed my way to tell her that it is what we call Bradly university (i guess Bradly is the only university in peoria) I got her all wild up and hoping that she would go. I told her the party is gonna be held in Bradly Univerity, and it's gonna be one hell of a party. She sounded excited about it and i ended the call there. I told trevor, who is trying to get his check back from the Mel guy who recruited him. Apparently Mel told trevor that let him hold on to the check, instead of sending it back. Trevor said he would prefer him sending it back to him, because he doesnt feel that he has the time for 2by2. Mel said, dont you trust me trevor? I use 300 dollar checks to wipe my ass, u think i would need that money? He also said that the time that he spent talking to trevor was well worth 300 dollars. I couldnt stop laughing, this coming out of Mel, some 19 yr old kid in a suit who is christine a 24yr old girl's mentor. Anyway, i told trevor to mention peoria to Mel, saying that he will be attending that party and telling him how great it is but not to talk to much of it letting Mel suspect it as a phony party. Saturday night, at work with Taylor again, I called up Christine, going through all the how are you and BS and she told me I missed out some amazing oppertunities recently cause i didnt attend the meeting. I told her i got her money. She sounded a lil excited, and offered to meet me. I told her unfortunelty i was on my way to the party in peoria and that i got the cash ready for her. She asked if i could turn around and meet her, i said sorry, its my friend thats driving and hes not gonna turn back. I told her, why dont you meet me down here. I'll be by the big statue, you'll see it when you get here. She said ok, and we searched online and gave her direction to peoria. Lol, she actually fell for it and was ready to go. TOo bad the fucking snow storm started and later that night she called me back and told me it was snowing down here. I told her that she should still try cause it's not snowing down here in peoria, and she said well, leon, it's a 4 hr drive, and its getting a lil late, im sorry i wont be able to make it. I was a lil disappointed, but ok i said my farewell.
So that almost worked, but god damn snow storm killed it for me. I should've asked her to meet me at a closer city. Anyway the following monday she called me again and asked me to meet her in schumburg's barnes and noble. She said, great news!! i got you a seat here, Mel is giving some great training here and it is very very hard to get a seat. (i almost laughed out loud... Mel the great!) Anyway i was getting really tired of those fuck heads, so i said you know what christine. "I really Love you." I didnt really want to join 2by2, all i really wanted was you. You got such a fine ass. (i couldnt hold my voice steady cause i was laughing so hard.) She told me hold on, after i told her that i think 2b2 is the biggest loads of crap ever. She said hold on, and i guess she spent about 5 mins talking to Mel, her "mentor". what a waste of my cell phone mins. I told her that 2by2 is such a phony scam, the California business bureau has quite a few cases on them already. Guess what her reply was? "Well, thats only cause we havent paid them off. they always BS about companies until they get paid." What a big crock load of shit! She also kept saying that what everyone else said are simply opinions, not facts. I laughed and i told her give me a break. She's like, leon, why do you keep listeing to your broke ass friends. I'm like, i dont have any poor friends, this is Naperville, they're all spoiled brats. SHe kept telling me "not to listen to my broke ass friends" (this is dupage county, the richest county in america, good luck looking for broke ass kids who are willing to pay 400 dollar for some BS) She said, well leon, good luck. You'll be cleaning my car in a few yrs. SHe also told me that in a few yrs she'll be on her own island, i told her great. SEND me a post card! Anyway i told her to have fun getting raped in prison when they get busted for the scams and i hung up leaving my last advice to her "i hope you have fun take it up the ass."
Hahah recently she showed up at COD and i yelled, "christine, can i clean your car! please let me clean your car christine!" Oh and also apparently friend of Ricky's friend already joined them. He said he knew about all that 2by2 BS already from his car buddies at MWIR. Well that concludes my long and fucked up experience and a waste of time with these sheists. I hope one day i can be like Kyle's brother, sheisting my way to a new Lexus and putting another 10 grand worth of audio/video equipments in that 40 grand car.
